You carry an impulse towards connection to yourself and to others, no matter how withdrawn or isolated you have become.
This quote is from the book “Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship” by Dr. Heller and Dr. LaPierre. Dr. Heller created the NeuroAffective Relational Model for Healing Developmental Trauma.
You may only notice feeling connected in small moments or “glimmers”… when you share a smile with a loved one, when the sun shines warm on your face, when that song comes on, when you breathe in fresh air, when you let your body move the way it wants to…
No matter how long it’s been since you’ve felt it, or how brief the moment may be, this capacity is within you, always.
This sounds simple, but it can sometimes feel really challenging. There likely are some good reasons why it may feel hard or even scary to connect internally or to those around you. You may have had to disconnect in order to survive something in your past. This wasn’t a choice you consciously made. The process of therapy can help you untangle what it is that gets in the way of the life you long for.
Do you long to feel connected to the present moment more often? With more ease? With less fear of what could happen if you showed up with your true self in the presence of another?
If you feel a wish to be your authentic self in relationships, to live your life making choices that are guided by the foundation of your values and needs, rather than your fears, know that it is possible. Everything you need is already within you.